At the end of July I have a solo exhibition in Vasto, so I am currently planning which works to show, sourcing materials for framing and cropping up a little publicity, I am excited and nervous but this feels like a step forward. I guess I write this blog to some how consolidate in words what it is to paint, it helps to form in solid terms what is essentially a very abstract, loose, ethereal labour. Is it really so intangible? or can I describe what it means to me, or how I operate in it, is it all enmeshed in trying to understand the world and life itself, for there is no way to seperate, it is all one big assemblage of everything. It will be a resource so that I can look back and see how the works, myself have evolved. What is creativity? a pooling of ideas, experiences, beliefs, curiosities, of searching, looking for patterns, making connections, questioning assumptions, digging deep, essentially it is an act of surrender, of trusting, openness, channeling consciousness or the unconscious.
‘Work is what you do by the hour, but labour is what results in a gift’ Lewis Hyde. What does it mean to create, where do we sit in the economic system, this gift economy where it is so very hard to put a value on creativity in monetary terms.
There are proud wild iris’s around the studio, the form of the flowers are so embodying, the curves and containers, sepals and standards, the fuzzy beards, hafts & falls, trying to capture the droops and crests, sweeping, dissolving nature. These flowers hold hope and the word iris originates from the greek for rainbow, which has been a true symbol throughout this world crisis.
I started to listen to a podcast with Merlin Sheldrake, his specialisation is fungi, he discussed their interconnectedness recognised by how they exist on the planet. Their symbiosis with the environment, he talked about how if we too were to understand, appreciate this oneness and consider how everything is interlinked this might reduce our destruction of the planet, if we understood how very integral we are we would feel less inclined to want to purge and destroy parts of the living ecosystem. It really struck me that this oneness is the antithesis to separatism, individualism, this disassociation, from heart and body, from mind and soul, from each other and how it is at the root of so many of the world's problems. To understand that enmeshment reduces conflict and encourages cooperation.
He talked too about an apple tree and that if we only valued the apple, you would miss, depreciate the whole infrastructure, how the fungal mycelium interplay with the roots, existing below this intimate relationship, the hidden parts.
I thought about drawing and painting blooms as I do, these flowers are such a magnificent, hopeful, mediatory part of the growing process and I thought about how this relates to an artists practice, that the drawing of the flowers can be quick and easeful but essentially it's the years of experimentation, delving, play, falling, sketching that is so vital, looking at the bigger picture, the lifetime, the deliberations, the fits and starts and also how this all fits in to the whole picture of life, experiences, surroundings.
And when painting blooms, consideration and knowing is made to not only the tree at that point in its cycle but how that particular species differs from others or sits in the landscape, in reflecting the way the sun touches the petals or trying in some way to reflect the surroundings, the sounds of the bees, the sweet fragrance. How I paint the almond blossom may or may not be different this year to last and how that too is a reflection on how so much can change in one cycle. That how these works are consciously or not reflective of this emerging, interconnection.
A new painting recently added online is Shakad, hebrew for hasty awakening, the almond is the first winter bloom, full of hope, rebirth, amygdalus communis dulcis, sweet almond. I guess we are here to recognise the sacredness of life, the connection to a web of life, this quantum entanglement.
“I just wish someone had told you your true extent. How you connect to mountain glaciers and tropical orchids. How you come from ancient fish and before that single cells that found advantages together. How starlight, even now, animates everything about you” Dr Elizabeth Sawin
Custodian to an olive grove, I tend and prune the trees, my paintings emulate the natural environment, sensations, reflections of the sounds and scents, play on light, an appreciation of the therapeutic qualities of the natural world. In the works I work on the balance between spontaneity and deliberation, on getting that alignment, I love the physical connection with the bigger works, the flow, fluidity against the stillness, loose over gusto, its all an experiment, play, breaking down the surface with conflict, ease, melting, I get so much satisfaction from a single sweeping chalk mark or line, the musicality is something I am very conscious of too, accessing deep within us, that guttural vibration, frequencies, the interconnection of movement, pattern, tone.
Crucial to all of this is understanding that our subconscious minds control 95% of our behaviours , limited beliefs, engrained ideas, conditioning that we inherit from the environment, society itself. Understanding that we can empower ourselves to change our brain, we can create our future.
That life is an illusion based on our evolving perception, we can choose to change it, every moment, create your reality, when we widen our perspective we can create a future self that responds in new ways. That we are connected to everything but ideally attached to nothing. That we are responsible for showing up, trying to be better, for governance and accountability to the community, traditions that were in place before capitalism and colonialism, the constructed divisions, systems and identities.
“Reclaim our common humanity not a narrow colonised version, begin with a lived life of a fulfilled human on a beautiful earth. We do not live in a frozen past, we live in a constantly evolving history” Vandana Shiva
I am in the midst too of painting the honey scented broom, ginestra, small yellow papillionaceaous flowers with cadmium yellow wings, oblong pods that twist & explode, popping citrus heads for heady bees, glorious summer. Below is an inspired poem by Giacamo Leopardi - La Ginestra.
"Fragrant broom,
content with deserts:
here on the arid slope of Vesuvius,
that formidable mountain, the destroyer,
that no other tree or flower adorns,
you scatter your lonely
bushes all around. I’ve seen before
how you beautify empty places
with your stems, circling the City
once the mistress of the world,
and it seems that with their grave,
silent, aspect they bear witness,
reminding the passer-by
of that lost empire.
Now I see you again on this soil,
a lover of sad places abandoned by the world,
a faithful friend of hostile fortune."
Qui su l'arida schiena del formidabil monte
sterminator Vesevo,
la qual null'altro allegra arbor né fiore,
tuoi cespi solitari intorno spargi,
odorata ginestra,
contenta dei deserti. Anco ti vidi
de' tuoi steli abbellir l'erme contrade
che cingon la cittade
la qual fu donna de' mortali un tempo,
e del perduto impero
par che col grave e taciturno aspetto
faccian fede e ricordo al passeggero.
Or ti riveggo in questo suol, di tristi
lochi e dal mondo abbandonati amante,
e d'afflitte fortune ognor compagna.
Questi campi cosparsi
di ceneri infeconde, e ricoperti
dell'impietrata lava,
che sotto i passi al peregrin risona;
dove s'annida e si contorce al sole
la serpe, e dove al noto
cavernoso covil torna il coniglio;
fur liete ville e colti,
e biondeggiàr di spiche, e risonaro
di muggito d'armenti;
fur giardini e palagi,
agli ozi de' potenti
gradito ospizio; e fur città famose
che coi torrenti suoi l'altero monte
dall'ignea bocca fulminando oppresse
con gli abitanti insieme. Or tutto intorno
una ruina involve,
dove tu siedi, o fior gentile, e quasi
i danni altrui commiserando, al cielo
di dolcissimo odor mandi un profumo,
che il deserto consola. A queste piagge
venga colui che d'esalt.
