stay authentic, call of the adventurous soul, intention, deliberation, newness
and so, so far this year following the theft of our vehicle including all of my body of artwork I have felt sadness, frustration, un-justness & loss. I have questioned what is the point of working so hard to be left with such a sense of vulnerability & bewilderment. It has taken me a long time, well nearly ten years to make bold moves, to restore a house including every element that has been involved in that physically, emotionally and the understanding/discovery of many aspects to building. To have a little boy, to work part time with many other jobs, to be dealing with my partners diagnosis, to then manage to produce a body of work, to make the giant leap to exhibit in the UK, which was hugely successful to then lose all of this work & all of my portfolios with mounted drawings and other watercolours, previous documentation folders of life’s works & the means of display in just one foul swoop seems so unfair.
Works that were sold, had the future potential to be sold, my income from that precious time spent, the effort, energy, passion and skill that was put in to this body of work.
this lifestyle looks idyllic but trust me, we have worked very hard, have sacrificed much, live on very meagre means, what is classed in the modern system as below the poverty line, this loss if financially significant to me.
the emotional loss is hard to explain, I toy between trying not to feel too attached to many many things in life, the material constraints and push on through the callings of the soul. This life as an artist is not fruitful financially, the starving artist rings true, and I have many issues with the worlds commitment and consideration to the arts, I have never had the possibility sadly to just spend my time making art. I struggle with fairness and equality and it is something that is disregarded by many.
I am aware that in zooming out my life is considerably easier than many others but in that scope is where I find the inequality so hard.
this exhibition was the kick start again to my artistic endeavour, I hope to not be wavered and I wanted to raise a little awareness and contribution to a medical condition that is rare and significantly overlooked, I will honour my donation to muscular dystrophy UK from the potential sales made from my exhibition and this has been helped by funds that have kindly been donated to me through a Go Fund me campaign to help me recover in some way, by buying an amount of materials to start again.
I want to give heartfelt thanks to those that have supported me in this, it really has meant the world to me.
in many ways this loss has enhanced my desire to make marks, I am a believer in the wonders, marvel at the beauty of the world and see the next few months as new territory to explore, resilience, pushing through, enablement.
the purpose, integrity, motion and energy that were involved in making a body of work to exhibit can never be taken from me, my heart will reflect with new marks and I believe a great majority of the work is entailed in the actual process, this was made, enjoyed, fulfilled.
the *’s on works relate to works that were stolen, hopefully to be recovered one day or at least being viewed & enjoyed in some way
